S. Campbell of Fort Worth, Texas writes SZ Zen alternate mix: "Dude, it's been November since Alternate Mix served up some spicy Chinese fare. What gives?"
Mr. Campbell, Thank you for writing. At SZ Zen alternate mix we pride ourselves on customer service and we apologize for the delay. In this case, ask and you shall receive.
Good VibrationsI didn't set out to become Shenzhen's Rabbit vibrator missionary, it just kind of happened and I owe it all to
Sex and the City.
The legendary Rabbit vibrator was a guest star of sorts in season 1, episode 9 "The Turtle and the Hare" that my girlfriend, C, and I watched on her bootleg DVD
SatC six season collection. The show - which I'd never viewed until coming to China - seems to be enormously popular here, especially among reasonably affluent, educated single Chinese female 20/early30somethings who yearn for lives, shoes, apartments and clothes just like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. And as it turns out vibrators like the Rabbit, too. Here's part of the episode plot description: "Miranda introduces Charlotte to a very special vibrator called 'The Rabbit,' which turns Charlotte into a recluse."
C was quite curious about it and asked why it was called a Rabbit. While not detailing how I knew (previous US relationship) I explained that it was designed by those crafty inventive, kinky Japanese. It includes a basic shaft and a special clit stimulator in the shape of a cute little bunny. The bunny's ears wiggle frantically and voila!
She was intrigued and I said I'd heard of sex shop in Shenzhen that might carry them. In order to find it, though, I had to ask a coworker at The Standard, a cheerful English lesbian who speaks fluent Chinese, hangs in Shenzhen often and loves to talk about having sex with women. We have some great conversations.
After a few false starts and misdirections, and some additional help from my pal James The Temple Guy who, as it happens, lives about two blocks from the shop, I found it next to a large KFC. Inside the lone female clerk seemed a trifle startled at seeing a foreign barbarian male browsing through the assorted phallic, multi-colored toys, which were tastefully displayed like museum pieces on glass shelves spot-lit by mini-beams. She spoke no English and I didn't know the Chinese word for "rabbit" but after about 5 minutes I spotted a pink model ("The Love Bunny!") that appeared to be a serviceable and affordable knockoff of the original which - according to my Internet browsing - retails for about US$80-$120 US. This one cost about US$15. Good saleswoman that she was, she also tried to interest me in several other products, including lube, electric ben-wah balls, a beaded pull cord and a mini-vibrator as well as extra batteries. About the only thing she didn't try to sell me was a warranty, but I left only with what I'd come for.
Suffice to say C was delighted and has not become a recluse. We've used it together, over the phone and she says she enjoys it solo, though not as much as "when we touch together." "Feeding the rabbit" has become a code phrase in the Shenzhen Love Shack and it's one fat bunny.
She spread the Good Word to a single girlfriend and coworker who was also curious. And I was off once more to the sex shop because "it would be shameful for a woman to be seen in there." The saleswoman did not appear shamed to be seen selling another one, though I think she was wondering why I needed it.
A week or so passed and C told me that her friend was ecstatic and had also told another friend and, by the way....would I, could I?
By this time I began to feel like a missionary in pre-revolutionary China who'd suddenly struck gold passing out Bibles and spiritual tracts. Another trip to the Randy Rabbit Hutch and this time the beaming clerk was reaching for a fresh Wascally Wabbit almost before I'd cleared the doorway.
No further requests have been immediately forthcoming, but I'm immensely pleased to have been the Lord's instrument to further spread western decadence and pleasure throughout the People's Republic.
